


Between the Lines

by 221b_hound



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Diary/Journal, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25684972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221b_hound/pseuds/221b_hound
Summary: John is punch-drunk with sleeplessness and in that state writes a diary entry. He thinks he's being clever. Maybe he is.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 40
Kudos: 137





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by Atlin Merrick's [Dear Diary: Baker Street Edition](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25626682/chapters/62206174)

Dear Diary,

Another day of wearing snot and vomit at the surgery but at least most of it came from children, which has the sole compensation of being in lower volume than an adult male, for example. Sometimes I have to remember to be grateful that a GP surgery’s effluvia is mainly that and not blood, bone and brains. Sarah continues to give me mild, sympathetic and utterly not-encouraging smiles, reinforcing that we are and will continue to be colleagues and nothing more though of course she makes the occasional comment on another of my colleagues, well, when I say comment, it’s more a light in her eyes, a twitch of her mouth, and it’s equal parts embarrassing and infuriating because it’s not like that, is it you great pillock, have you even read this far this time, or have you just given up when you see Sarah’s name, because it’s what you do, you see Sarah and make assumptions and frankly for a smart man you’re more oblivious than me sometimes. You made a point of saying you’re not interested so I’ve made a point of not pestering you, and every time I think everyone has a point that you maybe look at me when I’m not looking in the same way I look at you when you’re not looking, you go an make that point again about not your area and sentiment is grit in the machine or whatever the fuck and I should not be writing this in the middle of the night while drunk on lack of sleep and dreams or maybe nightmares of your hands on me. So dear diary, here you go, I have to get it out of my system somehow so I’ll write it here and tomorrow I’ll burn this whole fucking diary which my therapist thought would be so useful and dear god it’s just a way to make a rod for my own back out of ink. Being your friend is wonderful, and loving you is wonderful, even if it’s sometimes lonely to not be loved back. Well, I guess you love me in your way, good friends, that’s not nothing. That’s a lot actually. To be your friend is glorious, even when you are driving me absofuckinglutely barmy but isn’t there a song about how beautiful the madness is, and if there isn’t there should be. So hey diary, here’s the secret that shouldn’t be a secret to the most observant man in London I’m in love I’m in love I’m in love with that lanky gorgeous git and if I’ll never kiss him, never learn what he’s like when I’ve got my hands, my mouth, my whole body on his body, then there’s a lot of things I’ll never learn so it’s just another. I know what it’s like to die and to live and to have him look at me like I’ve done something good and I love him and I wouldn’t give up the loving of him even if it hurt less. I wonder why he even bothers to read my diary. Now in fact I even wonder if he does or I’m just being paranoid. Oh well here it is. If you manage to get past Sarah to the end before I get the chance to burn this I guess you’ll know and so will I.

**Note appended to diary entry**

_Well I know **now**. In future if you want my eye to pass over a diary entry don’t use the word “pillock” because I’ll always check if you mean me, because you always do. This diary is mostly dull, please burn it._

_But don’t burn this page._

_I love you too._ ****


End file.
